Knock Knock Jokes
Or jokes that knock you down?
“Knock knock”
“Who’s there?”
“Me.”
“Are you really wearing that outfit?”
“Why? What’s wrong with it?”
“Oh nothing. Never mind.”
Did you ever have a conversation like that?
Do you see what’s wrong with it?
Asking “are you really wearing that outfit?” is a form of gaslighting. The person who is wearing the outfit obviously chose it for a reason. But that question is meant to undermine the person, not the outfit.
When a joke isn’t funny
“Knock knock”
“Who’s there?”
“Me.”
“I’m surprised you could find my place considering how many times you get lost driving anywhere!”
If anyone mocks, teases, or makes fun of you, it’s not a joke—it’s abuse.
People who abuse others need to be in control, and by demeaning you, they remain superior.
But sometimes, we seem to overlook the abuse when it comes in the form of a joke.
The next time you have a starring role in someone’s comedy routine, ask yourself if you feel any of these emotions.
Humiliation, defensive, irritated, angry, or sad.
But aren’t you being too sensitive?
Absolutely not. And that’s usually the next thing an abuser will say when you feel put down by a ‘joke.’
Being asked this question is also a form of gaslighting where the abuser wants you to question the reality of your feelings.
But it’s only a joke!
Whenever someone’s idea of humor causes you to feel defensive or sad, it’s not a joke and it wasn’t ever intended to be.
Humor has a dark side. It can hide a verbal assault behind a laugh.
If your abuser needs to explain that it was just a joke, that’s also a form of gaslighting. Your reality—of an abusive joke—should not change simply because someone tells you to believe otherwise.
What should we do?
Stop normalizing jokes that are really abuse. If someone says something ‘funny’ about you that makes you sad or angry, listen to your feelings.
Don’t laugh.
Don’t answer.
Don’t stay.
Let’s try this scenario
“Knock knock”
“Who’s there?”
“Me.”
“You again?”
Not exactly a joke and not a pleasant greeting either. The person knocking has to somehow prove their existence and reason for being there.
That’s abusive. By putting someone on the defensive, time after time, the power shifts to the abuser. It’s part of their long game in their quest for control.
Let’s try that scenario again
“Knock knock”
“Who’s there?”
“Me.”
“You again?”
Silence.
If you’re ever the victim of a joke that is meant to knock you down, don’t answer the door.
Heartwork (homework for your healing!)
Find a joke (you can Google one) that makes you laugh and write it down.
In one sentence, explain why it’s funny to you.
Remember a joke that someone told that made you feel sad, angry, or defensive.
Write down exactly why you didn’t think it was funny.
Crumple up the paper and throw it away.
Knock knock.
No one’s home.
Excellent observation(s), Joyce.
I really loved this . Farhad